One size does not fit all

Somewhere along the line manufacturers got lazy and started making things in the size “OSFA”.  One size fits all.  Well, not really….if you’re short, it’s too long, if you’re tall, it’s too short, if you’re skinny, it’s too baggy, if you’re chubby, it’s too tight… and so on.

The same applies with the healing and treatment options for our traumatized children.  One method does not fit all.  One method may not fit a child at all but a mixture of this method, and that method, and little bit of this mixed in there, and a little bit of your own creation might very well work.  If someone tells you they have “the” answer, run.

Don’t be discouraged if you try Method A that’s so highly talked about and it simply doesn’t work at all with your kid.  Everybody’s different.  It doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent and it doesn’t mean you did it wrong, and it doesn’t mean your kid is permanently broken.  One size does not fit all.  After trying it for a reasonable time period, try Method B.  Hopefully you’ll be doing this with the support of qualified, trained professionals who can tell you what a reasonable time period is for a particular method, but in a lot of  cases we don’t.  Remember, you know your kid best.  Yes, you will make mistakes.  You are human, after all.  And that’s ok.  Just do your best. Keep a journal, keep a record, of things that seemed to help some, things that backfired miserably, and eventually you’ll find a mixture of things that when mixed together will help your child make progress.

In this crazy path, YOU are the expert on your kid.  You may not know all the answers (spoiler alert: neither do the therapists) but you’re doing the best you can to help your child.  Keep plugging away.  Whether your child completely heals, makes some progress, or doesn’t seem to make any progress at all over the years, you HAVE made a huge difference in their lives.  You may not see the outcome yet, but you have changed their lives for the better.


2 comments on “One size does not fit all

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