Attaboy/Attagirl

Remember the study years ago where they said it took a lot of “attaboys” to your kids to erase one mean word?  Well, that applies to us as parents of difficult children as well.  We frequently hear how “we” are the problem, how “we” are doing things wrong, how “we” asked for this by adopting (!!!), how “we” have such a nice sweet child…. you know the spiel.

You are doing a GREAT job.  You are loving the unlovable.  You are hanging in there with an abusive hater who wants nothing more than to see to your demise – and you are still there.  You are doing everything in your power to see this child heal and have a normal-ish life with good things happening to them.

You ROCK!  You have completely turned your life upside down to meet the needs of your child.  Family vacations – no more.  Nights out – no more.  Security cameras, locked cabinets, all kinds of weird stuff you would have never believed before this journey started have been incorporated into your life – and yet still you go on, keeping your child safe, yourself safe,  your pets safe, your neighbors safe, as you adapt to the craftiness of this child.

You are AMAZING!!  The amount of books you’ve read, the seminars you’ve attended, the videos on you tube, the conferences you’ve been to – your life completely revolves around your child… and yet you see little to no progress… and yet you keep on!  You don’t give up!!

You are FANTASTIC!!!  Losing friends and family, losing your support system because they don’t understand, and yet – here you are, still going, day after day, plugging along, looking at the big picture, envisioning the day when your child will be healed and have a chance to have real relationships.

You are AWESOME!!!!

You are a ROCK STAR!!!!

You are a SUPERHERO!!!!!

But most of all, YOU ARE ENOUGH!

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