I’m going to take a break from my regular type of posting on this blog and ask you to share this post on your Facebook/Twitter and all social media accounts. I’m not the most eloquent of writers but this is a heart-felt and sincere article. We need help. We need the word to get out. We need things to change NOW. I am sharing true stories – posted with permission.
My first story is from this week:
“I sent a carefully worded, 2 page (typed, single spaced) email. It explained all of the people currently working on this team, all of the current issues, and said, in no uncertain terms: WE NEED HELP. I am out of ideas. I am terrified of where we are headed, and I am not sure how much longer I can do this. As I predicted, we then had to call/txt our crisis worker both Saturday and Sunday evenings. And here it is, 5pm on Monday, and that crisis worker is still the ONLY person who has acknowledged that email. It went to 2 employees of Behavioral Health, 3 H employees (total, including the crisis worker), 2 special ed teachers, and the school counselor. Not only did no one have any ideas or suggestions to help, none of them could even be bothered to acknowledge that I asked for help. I am an educated, articulate woman with a LOT of experience advocating for others. If I can’t get anyone to help, or even acknowledge that we need help, what hope is there for families who do not have the education/self-confidence/ability to do so? Is it really any wonder that we keep seeing terrible news stories of violent crimes committed by people with mental illness? Seriously what will it take to get people to wake up and understand that there are thousands and thousands of families living in crisis? Despite all of the news stories, it apparently has never occurred to any of the people who work with my family that we could be the next newspaper headline– but I am not exaggerating when I say we are one bad day and a gun safe away from that. Then maybe they would regret not answering my cries for help… but really, why should it take something that dramatic to get their attention? I understand that no one has any answers, and that no one can “fix” this…. I am not looking for a magic wand. I just want someone to call me back.”
Reality Check for those of you that don’t know:
Children’s Services places these children in unsuspecting adoptive homes, hiding the deep emotional issues many of these kids have, not reporting the violence the kids have already inflicted. Once the adoption is finalized, the and the children’s true emotional/mental issues start to surface within the adoptive family, placing siblings, neighborhood children, family pets, even the parents at physical risk. When the parents beg for help from Children’s Services in a last ditch effort to get help for that child, having exhausted all other resources available to them, in most states in order for that child to get help the parents must give up guardianship to the state unwillingly AND are charged with neglect and or/abandonment. Oh, you want help for your child? Sure, but we’ll charge you with a crime first. Other scenarios include the state saying “not our problem.” Child tried to kill your other child? Killed your dog? Killed the neighbors’ cats? You can’t find a place to take that violent and aggressive of a child? Can’t keep your household safe from that child? Bummer, dude. Or better yet – when that child DOES harm a child in your home – despite your best efforts at keeping everyone safe – and that state comes along and takes ALL THE OTHER CHILDREN. Leaves the violent one with you, because they don’t want to deal with that child either, but charges you with a crime for not keeping your children safe EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN BEGGING FOR HELP.
What happens when these kids get older? Teenagers? Adults? Jails are full of them. News is full of stories of them. And usually, when it’s something like a school shooting, the parents are blamed. Or adoption is blamed “I would never adopt someone else’s problem. That’s what you get when you adopt from another country.” Neither the parents nor the genetics are the problem here! Lack of resources, of education, a failed and completely ignorant and arrogant system is what’s at fault here!!!
Have we forgotten that these children started out as innocent victims? And because we did NOTHING to treat them or help them through that…. they created more victims?
This is yet another example of a failed system that is letting our children down. How much longer will it be before the number of adults in this country who have attachment disorders, mental disorders – grown up to be called personality disorders, sociopaths, psychopaths, heartless, etc. and have little to no conscience, care or feelings for others, outnumber the ones who do? Has it already happened? Look around. Watch the news. I wonder.