Help, America Part 2

This is part 2 of a series where I am taking a break from my regular style of posting and asking ya’ll to share this on all your social media accounts.  Get the word out.  All you have to do is share and ask everyone you know to share it.

The story in my last post, where the mom sent out an email requesting help for her child because, basically, the family was out of ideas?

The email she sent out details the destruction and violence she encounters daily with her child.  It includes everyone working “with” her, crisis workers, private therapist, psychiatric NP, skill builders, service integrator, the list goes on.  This child is a teen, and very capable of inflicting great harm on this woman.

She wrote, “This has escalated to the point that I do not feel safe home alone with (Son). (Spouse) and I coordinate our schedules in such a way that if I am home alone with him, I am locked in our bedroom with all 3 cats and my cell phone. Son admitted to (therapist) this past week that he understands why I do not feel safe with him, however he has only continued to escalate since then.”

She goes on to say, “all of his providers are talking about cutting his services. I understand that, I do, because they have worked with him for several years and have seen no progress at all. They continually meet with him and attempt to work with him, and he states he will follow through, and he never has. However– if this entire team of people is unable to help him, what hope is there? He has 4 more months of 10th grade, and then 2 more school years. I understand he is doing well at school, and even though I have lived with him through 6 years of this it is still amazing to me that that is true. (Spouse) took videos of some of his recent meltdowns to show providers who only see the “charming” side of him (at school), but even those could not convey how constant and overwhelming it is to live with him like this. I can’t imagine surviving 2 and a half more years of this, but I have absolutely no idea what else I can do. We have been told… that all residential programs for kids his age are voluntary — he would have to agree. And there is absolutely no chance of that. He will never leave here voluntarily.”

” I have done a LOT of research and I have a huge support network of moms of kids with attachment issues. I have also recently been reading a lot about borderline personality disorder, all of which seems to describe him perfectly. I understand that there are no perfect answers. I also understand there is nothing any of you can really do (this second). I understand that at some point he needs to be the one to change– I am just honestly not sure how to survive until he gets to that point, and I would absolutely welcome any ideas anyone has. Thank you!”

The mom wrote to me later, with regards to not getting even a “email received” response a majority of her son’s “team” – “I really feel like I put it all out there and the fact that I got no response at all from most of the people who are supposed to be helping us is just insulting…”
Might I add that this mom is a an RN?    This is no slouch picking up words and catch-phrases off the internet to get attention.  How long before people are shaking their heads at “her” poor parenting because her son does something unimaginable?  Will they blame her?  Does this sound like poor parenting?  Does this sound like ignorance, denial, lack of trying to you?

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