Some of you may wonder why Wonder Woman is a theme in this blog…. or not. I’m going to tell you anyway.
Although it started out as the mascot for the house I was assigned to at my first “trauma mommas” retreat, it has become much more than that. Not only does Wonder Woman get to save the day – every time – putting down bad guys and keeping the world safe, she gets to look good doing it. Her Lariat of Truth makes sure no one ever lies to Wonder Woman. Oh the analogies…
The Lariat of Truth? Our attachment/trauma kids lie to us constantly. If we adopted our kids from foster care, we were probably lied to. If we adopted our kids internationally, we were probably lied to. If we are seeking out diagnosis for our children, we just want the truth of what is going on so that it can be treated. We want therapists to tell the truth of what they are really capable of handling and not string us along for a year before saying they are in way over their head. We want agencies to tell the truth and actually provide the resources they have listed on their brochures. The truth is something we get so little of. Sometimes we can’t even tell the truth to ourselves. Sometimes we lie to ourselves about how serious the problems are with our children with they are extremely violent when they are really young, and we let things go too far. Sometimes we lie to ourselves when we say that someone else could do a better job than us, maybe we should disrupt. And sometimes we lie to ourselves when we say we are failing as parents to these children. We listen to their lies as they tell us we suck, we’re mean, we don’t love them. Lies, all lies.
And wouldn’t it be nice to win every time? To put down the bad guys of the past, of our children’s trauma, and make sure that our children are never hurt by them again. To lock them up forever and allow our children to heal, to be the hero that saves the day and have our children see that we did that for them, because we love them. To be able to defend ourselves from whatever crap is thrown at us, without even getting a hair out of place, never breaking a sweat. To know, that in the end, we will win and our children will be completely healed and the bad guys from the past are gone forever. And – the icing on the cupcake – we looked good the entire time!
So that’s why Wonder Woman, at least for me. She started out as a mascot, for lack of a better word. (Yes, I grew up in the 70s with Lynda Carter gracing the air waves, one of the few strong female leads, but I never wanted to grow up and run around in a bustier and high heeled boots in my underwear. I could never figure out how she could climb and do those high kicks without getting some serious wedgies.) But the symbolism of Wonder Woman came to mean more to me as time went on. And so – she has become my symbol for this life. I am no Wonder Woman…. But I am trying to live up to the idea. I am trying to fight off the bad guys for my kids. I’ll even take the wedgies that might go with it.