And always tell the truth. Right? Since freakin’ when? Even George Washington got in trouble for telling a lie, you gotta know that! So why has this generation of teachers and bus drivers and other school workers suddenly come to the conclusion that kids tell the truth? Especially our kids, who will try to convince you the sky is orange when it’s clearly blue?
I am constantly amazed by the idiocy of some of these educators when it comes to the whoppers our kids tell. Didn’t it occur to any of them to check with the parents, or siblings? A recent story of an elementary school student had me dumbfounded. It was a testing day so the kids said her mom died to get out of testing. Tears and all. Really? Some idiot caregiver or parent would just send the kid off to school as if nothing happened, not notifying the school or anything? Or how about the one where the girl goes to school in designer clothes, but convinces the school they are so poor the school holds a fundraiser, toy drive, and food drive for this family… which the family refuses, saying they don’t need, and the school promptly calls children’s services on them for a welfare check… in their gated community, million dollar mansion. And I laugh about my kid, my CHUBBY kid, who got on the bus every day with his two older brothers and convinced the bus driver we hadn’t fed him dinner or breakfast so she gave him her lunch, which he ate on the way to school, then he’d get to school and give the same sob story to the teacher, who would give him a school breakfast. This went on for an entire school year. One day Grandma, who was a bus driver for the district, heard about this “poor kid” whose parents were so mean they didn’t feed him and put the puzzle pieces together and told us. No one ever called and asked if there was a problem. No one ever asked his older brothers if he’d been fed. And he was chubby! Meanwhile we are worrying, taking him to the doctor and having tests run because he’s gaining all this weight.
Common sense, people. Just use some common sense. If you’ve ever worked with abused kids, they don’t tell every adult they meet. There are definitely tell tale signs but if they are telling everyone – chances are, it’s a story. If a chubby kid tells you he never gets fed, chances are – it’s a story. If a parent tells you that their child has emotional problems, they come off as charming but are manipulating you, play the victim always, and lie …. hmmmm, maybe the parent is trying to help you. Because really, who wants to say my child is a big fat liar and will play the victim in every circumstance and play you like a fiddle? Certainly not on my top 10 list. Another side note on my kid. One month he brought home an award for integrity. I about laughed myself to death (out of his presence). At least 3 times a week for that month he had come home with a stolen item from school, some of the things from his teachers desk, which I had his brother return. I had warned her at the beginning of the school year. I wonder what story he must have concocted for how her stapler got into his backpack….smh
Teachers, I know there are bad parents out there. But for craps sake, when we’re trying to work with you, when we give you documentation, when we give you letters from the kid’s therapist, when we say “This is what works with my kid”… would you please get off your arrogant high horse and work with us, rather than undoing the work we’ve worked years to accomplish in this kid? It’s not different than us teaching a kid wrong math facts and confusing the crap out of him when he goes to school. You teach one thing, we teach another set of math facts, how is the kid supposed to learn? Same difference when it comes to this stuff. You want our respect? Respect us. You may not understand it, you may not agree with it, but unless you want to go back to school and get a degree in this stuff, unless you want to spend years researching, reading and learning about attachment and mental disorders – then just go with what we ask. It really will make your job easier in the long run. Bad parents don’t try to work with the teachers. Bad parents don’t show up with documentation, give you books to help you understand, show up at IEP meetings with a therapist, and try to make your life easier. Just because the disability is invisible, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. If the kid were in a wheelchair but his legs looked ok, would you make him leave his wheelchair in the hallway because “he looks fine to you”? Would that be ok? Please, I beg you, schools, daycares, after school workers, all people who work with our kids – work WITH us, not against us. We are doing the best we can.