Today in my newsfeed…

The media was talking about how the family – aunts, in particular – of the Boston Marathon Bomber (the living one) on what a nice boy he was when he was a child, how sweet he was, how he would never hurt a fly, etc etc.

Here’s why this matters to us:  This is one of our deepest fears.  That our child grows up and commits heinous crimes and kills innocent people, then sits there, passively, and doesn’t care one bit about the carnage he created.  At least that’s one of my fears that I keep pushing down so I don’t think about it, burying it as deep as I can.  But here’s this kid, who by all accounts had a decent upbringing and life and love up to at least age 8, according to this testimony – and look where he ended up.  So most of us got our kids and they did not have a great upbringing before age 8 or whatever age we got them at, there was trauma, addiction, whatnot.  This does NOT mean our kids will end up there.  Good parenting/life experience before age 8 does not guarantee a good person as an adult, and neither does bad experiences guarantee a bad person as an adult.

Just as that kid was changed by some radical whatever the excuse is into a sociopath, then why can’t our children be changed as well, with love, with therapy, with every resource we can possibly provide, why can’t we rewire their brains, little by little, piece by piece as well?  It doesn’t mean we’re going to see the results at age 10, or 18, or even 25, because the brain is still developing at that point.  But we are still making a difference.  Read that again.  WE ARE STILL MAKING A DIFFERENCE.

So don’t give up.  Don’t give up hope, don’t give up the future, don’t give up on your kid or yourselves.  There are no guarantees.  There are no magic pills or books or spells.  But the brain is an incredible thing.  It can be healing while it looks like it’s not.  Only time will tell.

Hang in there.  It’s a marathon.

-realmom

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